I Procrastinated Starting This Blog

I wanted to have the perfect words to write.

The perfect website with the perfect visuals.

I wanted to have a few apps launched so I had something to write about.

Because I definitely didn’t feel like my life was worth writing about or sharing with you. Why would anyone care about my life or what I work on?

I’ve procrastinated a lot of things.

Boring things like taxes and admin work.

Fun things like outings with friends (because I felt guilty having fun when I had so much work to do).

Important things like my family and pets.

I’m paying for that last one now.

My cat, Shoyo, died a couple weeks ago. Before then, I had been telling myself “in June, I’d have more time to cuddle him and be with him”

…well that’s out the window now.

Losing my kitten so suddenly, when he was so young, cut deep.

It’s made me question a lot of things.

Why didn’t I prioritize time to cuddle with him?

His cuddles brought me so much joy.

Why don’t I prioritize my joy more?

Why do I work so much?

Why am I doing the things I’m doing?

I’m questioning my entire life and reason for existing lol it’s a lot.

I’ve been having small "questioning periods" throughout the past couple of years since a lot has happened and changed for me - escaping an abusive relationship, betrayal from a family member, bankruptcy, a terrible move, shutting down my business, pregnancy and a traumatic birth, chronic health issues, stopping my meds completely, and so much more.

But I would go through all of it 100 times more to have my cat back.

I’ve known that things needed to change.

I’ve needed to embrace my ADHD, not mask it.

I’ve needed to be more present, even within the chaos of my brain.

I’ve needed to be disciplined in the things that bring me peace, calm, joy, happiness, and energy.

I’ve needed to be more curious and creative, not shut down and burned out.

One of the things I realized is that I’ve wanted to start this blog for so long. It brings a ton of excitement, and yet I haven’t started it for [insert one of many reasons here].

So here I am. No excuses. I’m getting started.

The Start of ADHD Coder ✨

My intention for this blog is to be unapologetically me, chasing whatever crazy idea hits me next.

I’m Nicole, a late-diagnosed neurodivergent coder… Queen of random hyperfixations, shiny objects, and starting but not finishing shit.

I was diagnosed with ADHD Combined type, hence the alliteration ;)

And let me tell you… I have a ton of ideas.

I start a lot of things but don't finish them.

I pick up a hobby, get obsessed with it. Research it, buy the things, and then drop it.

My husband is also ADHD and so are most of my friends.

I realized that a lot of us struggle with this, but have tried to mask it for so long.

I'm tired of masking it.

That's why I wanted to start this blog.

Of course though I got really anxious about starting it and overwhelmed by how much work it would take. I was already telling myself I'd have to blog every single week consistently and send out a newsletter and write in a certain format and all of these rules and restrictions.

And that's when I realized that I need to run this blog exactly how my brain needs - I'll post when I post. No shame if it's procrastinated or if I'm inconsistent.

I'll work on what brings me joy and what I have energy for. If I have no energy, I won't work on it.

No rules, but tons of structure. I'll create templates for myself to make starting (and finishing) easier.

I'll use body doubling for accountability. I'll have a support system cheering me on when I post so I get a good bit of dopamine (and shut up the critic in my brain).

But I won't set hard rules for myself. I won't restrict myself. I won't force myself to do what everyone is doing, or what I'm told I should do.

The goal is to accept and nurture my ADHD, not to go against it. And I want to share that with others too and encourage the same.

I recently got burned out from trying to be someone I'm not and working too much on things that didn't matter.

I realized I was prioritizing what other people wanted or needed from me vs what I wanted.

I wanted to start a family. I wanted to create tools that help me and others. I wanted to enjoy the moments with my husband and cats and friends.

I regret not being more present with my cat now that he's gone. I don't want that to happen in other areas. I don't want to be a workaholic and miss out on my daughter's childhood. I don't want to work hard going against how my brain thinks, just to make money and not be able to spend it.

I want to feel peace, freedom, happiness, joy. And for that, I need to be present (which is hard for my brain going hundreds of miles per hour) and creative (easy peasy) and disciplined in what I prioritize (the people pleaser in me is yelling) lol so I'm also starting this blog as almost a body double to hold me accountable to those things.

I want to focus on creating solutions that help people with their neurodiversity, accept themselves more and create systems that work for them vs the other way around.

Basically that quote about judging a fish's ability to climb a tree... I want to take all the "stupid fish" and bring them to water so they can swim freely in the vast ocean of opportunities. Even though I'll be sharing about my personal life, insights, findings, projects, etc., I want that to come across for others as I figure myself out.

I'm not perfect, you don't have to be either. I'm going to be chasing all my shiny objects and hyperfocuses, and you can too. I want you to see that it's okay to be exactly who you are.

About ADHD Coder 👩‍💻

I’ll probably expand this as I go further, but here’s what I’ve got initially:

Mission

ADHD-Coder is about creating tools and systems to make life as a neurospicy person better and happier.

Vision

To start ADHD Creative, a development studio that has 1,000 users positively affected by the tools we built.

Values

I am CLEAR on who I am.

I CREATE solutions with neurodiversity in mind.

I find the CALM in my chaotic mind and life.

What To Expect 📝

I want to have fun blog categories like...

• Dev Diary: What I’m coding, breaking, and making!
• Hyperfocus: Super detailed guides on tools and systems I swear by... until I find the next thing. 😂
• Hyperfixation: My latest obsessions that aren’t related to coding. Think: random af hobbies like mech keebs, digital art, crafts, etc.
• Fuck Ups & Fixes: All the mess-ups and what they’ve taught me.
• Life Updates: Need a snazzier title here—got ideas? 🤷

I’ll also be setting up a Discord soon, but for now, you can subscribe below to get my rambles delivered straight to your inbox. Expect lots of idea polls, ADHD hacks, and maybe even some guest posts from friends who are just as wonderfully weird as I am.

Also, random thought... should I start a podcast? Lol let me know.

Sneak Peek 🕵️‍♀️

Right now, I’m building an app to manage my bazillion ideas. It’s designed to help us keep track of all our brainwaves without getting overwhelmed. More on this, plus stories of navigating life with a newborn and ADHD, coming soon!

Honestly, I’m just excited to start this journey with you. Let’s celebrate every scattered thought, every intense hyperfocus session, and even those moments when we drop everything for a nap. Here, it’s all about embracing the chaos and finding joy in our unique minds. Let’s make ADHD our superpower, not our stigma.

Can’t wait to see where this blog takes us! 🚀